Last week, I almost lost it.
Not because my kids were acting crazy or because life was falling apart, but because I was trying to keep everything perfect for everyone all at once.
And then it hit me: I can’t do it all.
Not without losing myself.
Sometimes I forget that grace isn’t just for other people, it’s for me too.
I realised I had been running on the fear of letting something drop instead of trusting God with what I couldn’t control.
I’m writing this as much for myself as for anyone else,
because I forget. A lot.
But I want to live from love, not fear.
From grace, not pressure.
And I know that’s where true peace begins.
So I made a small decision: to slow down, even in tiny ways.
One morning, I took my notebook, sat quietly, and wrote down everything swirling in my head.
Another day, I cried. I prayed. I told God the truth about how tired and stretched I felt.
And somehow, just doing that made space to breathe again.
Later that week, we went for a long family walk, a walk I had wanted to take since moving here but couldn’t before because of Joshua’s health.
The fact that we did it, seeing Josh walking and the day was warm, felt like a gift!
The kids ran ahead, collected rocks, splashed in a stream we found, and asked if the bushes in that area were wild blueberries crazy! They were blueberries!
Fresh air changes things. It really does!
Josh had also planned a small gift for me, a pottery workshop!
I had been wanting to do this for a long time!! I loved it! Getting my hands into clay reminded me that I don’t have to rush to hold everything together.
And the best part? Intentional time with Josh.
No big plans, no distractions, just us. I forget how much I need that until we have it again.
All of those little choices, writing, praying, stepping outside into nature and making time for connection, helped me refocus.
They didn’t fix every stress in my life,
but they shifted my heart.
Because peace isn’t found in perfect schedules or doing more.
It’s in remembering I don’t carry it all alone.
Maybe you’ve been there too…
trying to hold everything together, afraid to let anything drop.
If that’s you, let’s pray this together:
Lord,
Teach me to rest instead of strive.
To trust You with the pieces I can’t hold.
To choose grace over pressure,
love over fear.
Quiet my anxious heart,
and remind me that You are my strength,
my shepherd, my peace.
Amen.
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